Urban Pagan in Somerset

Urban Pagan in Somerset

Thursday, 25 November 2010

Sometimes enough is enough

Its interesting for me - this time of year always has a feel of winding up and getting ready for new beginnings to follow the endings. I feel that the time between Samhain and the Winter Solstice is a big melting pot where all the things that you need to say goodbye to (whether you want to or not!) mix up with all the possibilities of things that may or will occur. This depends a lot on destiny, fate, the energy you pull to you or around you. Or if its part of your path to experience it. This is what I tend to believe anyway.

But whether you believe in fate, chance or a little bit of both which is my way of looking at it, there is definately something in the air that indicates changes on the way. Some of it is obvious - such as stuff going on in politics, the various shifts that our country leaders are arranging Benefit and social restructures, cutting jobs and other debatable situations. The recent announcement of a royal engagement - maybe there will be a change in how such an institution will affect a young royal bride this time around.

And then there are the individual changes in our own lives. I personally always feel a shift of gears about this time as if I am hurtling downhill towards an inevitable experience. Sometimes it feels exciting and I am eager for its new energy.

Sometimes I can feel out of control and have to hang on for the ride, hoping I wont fall off and break something. But whatever the situation, in a strange kind of way it still is something I welcome.

My big change coming is in my world of employment which is quite big for me as it affects all the other aspects of my life, how I support my family, my own feelings of adequacy or lack of it, prospects for my future life experiences etc. For some time now I have felt stifled in my current work for various reasons. Mainly because as an Aries, I am always best off in work where I can use my own judgment and initiative, lead from the front and put on a bit of a show! Its been hard and maybe a karmic lesson to learn, that Ive had chains put on my ability to work this way. Ive been given a gift(?) of a person in a senior post to me who is unable to allow me to be the manager Im meant to be without putting a straight jacket on my flow at work and holds me down.

Its terribly frustrating! And Ive tried to be awfully spiritual about it. Hold them in the moment, look at it as a learning experience. Appreciate I have 'drawn this to me for a reason'. But what it really boils down to is that no matter how much I have railed against it or tried to accept it and look at the bigger picture. How much I have tried to 'think outside of the box' Or done any spiritually worthy activity to explain why I am in this predicament

Actually what it really boils down to, is I am pissed off. I have had enough and im not willing to sit in this bloody box (or look outside of it) anymore!

Ive made my plans, written my lists, sorted out my escape plan and look out steve mcqueen cos my motorbike aint hitting the wire fence but sailing clean over the top.

And I have come to realise that sometimes, the lesson isnt to be placid and look for the gift in the unpleasant situation. The lesson is to get the hell out of it and grow a pair!

1 comment:

Witch of Stitches said...

Your last sentence - exactly!